Euro 2012: the commentary

(Note: this was originally penned on June 28, and not finished until Mid-July.) The title isn't meant to imply that we're discussing my commentary in this post...I want to bring attention to the sheer brilliance of the call brought on by perhaps my favorite announcers of any sport, ever: Adrian Healey and Ian Darke.

That's not to say that any of the other worldly futbol announcers aren't as good. They're all good. Listening to the call of a Euro 2012 match, or any major match, is so.damn.enjoyable.

These guys not only know what they're talking about. They're natural linguists. In the commentator bios I found, I discovered that all of them are at least bilingual. Then again, I suppose that in England or anywhere else in Europe, it's common to classify yourself as multilingual. Fact: people who speak more languages have a more firm grasp on vocabulary, and generally kick ass at speaking and describing things. Toss in an English accent, and I'm really, really starting to hate Phil Simms.

I also love the terminology used for sports that I have never heard in any other arena. Being "unlucky" is the term for banking one off the crossbar, or suffering a foul without gaining anything for it. In baseball, a homerun is "robbed" from a hitter -- there is no luck involved. Certainly no luck in American football -- a kicker who misses a 45-yard field goal to put the team ahead as the clock expires is not "unlucky" -- he is a scape goat for the team's failure to dominate, and thusly shamed forever. (See: Martin Gramatica) In basketball, you're layin' bricks from 3-Point Land, but you're certainly not "unlucky." Perhaps you could actually be unlucky in curling, but that's about the only instance I could think of.

They also seem to discuss the individuals' decisions much more than, say, the NFL or MLB. European futbol fans seem more apt to blame, and in some instances, crucify players for a single poor decision that they made on a corner kick or missed header. In the NFL, we are aware of the bad players but simply don't draft them in fantasy leagues and try to hide their lack of skills by blanketing it on the general defensive or offensive deficiency. In the MLB, you can get away with sucking for a long, long time without getting benched. Hell, Rickie "Don't Call Me Dick" Weeks is batting .183 for half a season and still finds unquestioned daily starting time. You don't hear Rock commenting on Rickie's poor decisions. If anything, it's that he's more unlucky and getting robbed in the field, or not seeing pitches that well. Excuses.

Maybe it's the accents. Foreign terms and concepts. Some other X-factor. But I think half the reason why I get completely sucked into World Cup, Olympics, and Euro 2012 is the superb quality of commentary.